Lets Talk: Bullying

Bullying is a subject discussed every day. Everyone tries to come up with plans to lower bullying or control it. As a bisexual metal lover who has her own quirks and style I was a target for bullies and I was judged a lot even by adults, so I know the pain and struggle of trying to be you and getting judged for being so.

For me, and a lot of other people music seemed to be the only thing that understood me and that didn't say that me dating a girl was "inappropriate" or said I should dress more like other girls, it helped me overcome the harsh words and voices that ringed in my head...Metal was the only thing loud enough to silence them.

After a while I got tired of being judged for being me and getting told what I was, how I was, what I wore and what I listened to was wrong. I guess after a bit I learned to ignore them and speak when it was needed, but I always knew I had music to drown them out and I had art to release myself along with writing and playing bass

My tip to you is find something to distract yourself they’ll try and break you but the more you don’t react to them the more they lose power like what you want and not feel bad about it and if you already are that confident person I want you to share this article to those who need it reach out and help, no one deserves to go through that kind of pain and suffering.

I talked to some bands and singers about this, seeing what advice they have for people going through this.

I'm doing this because I believe strongly that you should be yourself.

I asked them all: “What advice do you have for fans whom are bullied for being who they are or for the music they listen too?”

Here is what they said:

Singer JAD

"Oh my God! That’s why I do what I do! I remember being that kid. My salvation would come from the music as I cried into my pillow. Life is cruel like that sometimes though. If not for those very moments we would never become something great. Kind of like training. You just got to stay strong and find your release. We are all capable of so much."

Silver by Skyline

Always be yourself, don't try change for others. Do what makes you happy!

Seann Singer of Symfinity

"Most of us get bullied in life. Don't let them decide who you are and understand that they are probably hurting as much as you are. Bullies are awful and you need music to get you through the rough days so don't let anyone take that away"

Chris Singer of Pacific Skyline

'I would say to them "keep being who you are as long as it's good at heart and never feel ashamed for liking something someone doesn’t"'

Mick James

“Never let anyone change who u are. Being different is what makes u stand out in a crowd. Always be true to whatever it is that turns u on..."

Nate Singer of Imbolg

Stand your ground & don’t worry about being hated by anyone but yourself.

Mike Singer of New Blue Sioux

Don’t react, and don’t slag off anyone else’s music choices

Andy Victor Singer of AV Super Sunshine band

Back in the day of Hair Metal and Punk-Rock there was hate rivalry, Kurt Cobain changed all that overnight, he was about peace and love. Become like Kurt, don’t let the hate control you. Millions of like-minded people are here to support you, starting with me and my friend Maria Wednesday

AV Super Sunshine

Sevet Kant

Hi Maria,

Our message would be that these bullied kids shouldn't even mind about the people bullying them. In the end these people don't have the open mindedness nor the intelligence and they end up demonizing what they don't understand. Our message for them is to not care about what other people say about their music tastes, but don't let them bully or go over them and stand up for what they believe is true.

Lance Singer of Even Tides

I would just tell them to stay true to themselves. Being unique or different isn’t a bad thing or something to be ashamed of. Most of the time the people who choose to bully others are doing so because they are extremely insecure in whom they are as a person. If the bullying is something that is crazy out of line don’t be quiet about it Tell someone what is going on. There needs to be consequences for the person who is bullying. Music is a beautiful thing that is always changing and growing. Things are popular for a little bit and then unpopular. For example Nickelback used to be super popular and now everyone hates them. This is how things go. So no matter what you like to listen to, continue to be strong and stand up for what you believe in.

Hanshotfirst band members

Mike Guitarist- "Bulling is a horrible thing which happened to so many of us. Best advice we can give is just try and rise above it and be yourself!

Bullies will always get what is coming to them!

Zander Singer- Hey Maria. Bullying is the worst and unfortunately it happens all the time. We all have been subject to bullying at some points in our lives. The best advice I can give is just to stand proud, don’t give in to them. Gigs and music are a great place to surround yourself with like-minded people. With music in the rock scene it’s a world where we can all feel like we are connected. We are one! It’s a great way to make friends, overcome your problems and be happy with who you are! Some of the best musicians have overcome bullying and other problems with the music they create and the lyrics they write…you can find answers to your problems. I always find creating is a great way to overcome your problems. Sit down, Write some lyrics, pick up a guitar, or buy a piano and just pour your heart into sound. It really is very soothing and a great way to get your emotions out and face them front on. If you are being bullied, all I can say is that, it will get better and one day you’ll look back and feel sorry for the assholes that were dicks to you…

Zander

Jake Leaney Singer of Inventions

To anyone who is being bullied or has been bullied in the past because of the music they listen to, firstly my heart goes out to you. Bullying in any form is a very difficult thing to face. Whether it's because of what you wear, the music you listen to, or even who your friends are, it's not ok to be bullied.

Secondly, If you ARE a bully, please, PLEASE stop, you have the choice to do the right thing just be a little selfless and think of someone else's feelings.

My advice is to really believe that the person or people bullying you are doing so not because of you, or your choices, but because of themselves. They think that belittling someone else makes them feel better/bigger/cooler/funnier than they are. I know that helps very little, but it's true nonetheless. Ignore them completely, and they'll lose interest. If you feel comfortable just telling them that what they say actually makes you feel really bad, then that's a great start too. If that's not possible then you need to tell someone else. Someone that knows both of you, and preferably with some kind of authority to be able to work out the best solution to your specific situation. Don't ever stop believing in yourself, and find the support around you to remind you to do that. Trust the people who love you. TALK to them. They will listen and care, even if you don't think they will. You're not alone! Lastly, don't EVER stop listening to any music because someone tells you to. You are the only one who really knows what you love! I hope that helps- trust me, whatever happens, you can survive it.

- In the end what we want you to know is you’re not alone we’re here for you, in some ways we are the same we’ve been through it but we have learned to overcome the pain and suffering bulling puts on you. Just know The bands and I, we are here for you we keep an open ear and stand up for those in need, we won’t let you fall we will hold you up. As the quote from the song…..by Silver by Skyline “We are not broken, we are different by design” As many of the bands said….being different isn’t a bad thing it makes you who you are and as Mick James said “Always be true to whatever it is that turns you on” Don’t change for people who don’t care.

-I want to thank all the bands and singers who made this blog happen. Thank you for giving the victims of bulling a voice of strength and someone to look up too you guys are truly what makes music special.

-I’d also like to dedicate this to all those who are a victim of bullies keep pushing don’t stop and I’d like to dedicate this to someone who could use this now, you may not know me but just know, whatever happened be strong , you have made others strong with your words you empowered me and inspired me. I know it’s hard but know we, the bands and I and even your friends and family are there for you so cheer up buttercup don’t be blue a rocking concert is right around the corner <3 J

Xoxo –M.S-

P.S So a bit after I published this one singer came across this and wanted to speak her mind on the subject and to be honest she summarized perfectly what I and all the other singers and bands had mentioned. Alissa White-Glutz singer of Arch Enemy Bullying, whether it be online or face to face, has to be one of the worst epidemics plaguing humankind- and has seemingly no antidote. Now with everyone living their lives online, EVERYONE is a target. Anyone, at any time, can choose to commit crimes against another person by simply clicking and typing. Crimes that would be punishable by law if the computer screen were lifted. There is something VERY wrong with bullies – and NOTHING wrong with the victims. But, I know all too well the way words and actions can linger in your mind like poison and erode you from the inside. Bullying exists not only for school-aged individuals, but even for grown adults. I've experienced more bullying as a a career-musician than I ever did as a student. The fact is- there is no reasoning with a bully because bullies do it for NO REASON. They aren't calling you stupid or ugly or untalented because you are those things…they are doing it because they fear those things to be true about them. It sounds cliche but it is the absolute truth. My advice? Develop a personal mantra. When I helped coach Julia on MTV’s MADE, she developed the mantra “This too shall pass” to help herself through the moments of pain. Although I might come across and unbreakable, I’m very in touch with emotion and sensitive to human interactions as well. My mantra? “Prove them wrong” And I know that many people will sat music helps them through tough times, but let me tell you; As a musician, it’s the real fans that help ME through tough times. I’m happy to give songs and even give myself to the world so that they may find strength to overcome the hurdles life throws their way. Just know that when the road gets tough for me, it’s YOU that I think about to help me through. Being vegan, straight-edge and female in the metal world has placed a giant target on my forehead for bullies. But I’m not going to change who I am just because some people don’t like it. I DO like me, just the way I am. “I am who I am, take it or leave it”(No Gods, No Masters) Thanks! In Search Of Solace Guitarist and Singer just recently had their say on the subject also In search of solace Singer and Guitarist Nick- Guitarist: Stay strong and keep your head up. Be proud of who you are and embrace it. Feel free to DM me/us on any of our social media. We always respond. Jonny - Singer: You are who you are and you should love that person. Don’t hold yourself back on account of what others say about you, because they are missing something inside of themselves if they need to tear you down for some form of joy. Stay strong in who you are and show them that you won’t conform to their idea of reality. Make your own and be the best you that you can be for you. And remember you deserve happiness, everyone does.

#bullying #hanshotfirst #symfinity #eventides #jad #silverbyskyline #pacificskyline #mickjames #imbolg #newbluesioux #avsupersunshineband #sevetkant #inventions